Say something about gay babies.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
