Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
