This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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