I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Randomize