she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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