my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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