So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Randomize
