In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
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