Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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