yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
