Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
