Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
