Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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