I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
