My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
