dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Randomize
