He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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