apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Randomize
