That's intense
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
