This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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