God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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