after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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