It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
