You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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