I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
