ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
try to milk me bitch
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
