What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
