Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Randomize
