dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
i came on her dog
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
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