At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
