Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I need moral support for this bender
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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