He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Randomize
