you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Randomize
