She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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