Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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