so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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