The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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