sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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