Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
