I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
