if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Randomize
