And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
