Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
