i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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