drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Someone came in the potted fern
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
