I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Randomize
