the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
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