At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
