I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
