erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
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